Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize