Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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