who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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