Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if only i could text you this smell
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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