Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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