yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
