So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
