Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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