he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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