My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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