There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
