he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
