but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
