how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
