your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
