then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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