i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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