It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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