his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
