i just had sex bonerless
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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