Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
tell me about the eggs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
