i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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