Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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