I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
