She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize