A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We left an ass print on the piano.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
