its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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