it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
