he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize