You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
