I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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