I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
