All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
jump out the window naked night went bad
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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