woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
