So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
