Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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