I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
