i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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