i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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