True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
