I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
