we have officially lost it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize