shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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