Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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