You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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