I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
