Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
