When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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