So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
