In the future we'll all be gay
im about as happy as oj after his trial
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
