the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
