the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
