In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
