Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize