I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
