I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
