So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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