my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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