Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
