her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
