I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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