yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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