Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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