did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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