i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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