it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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