Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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