thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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