Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is the high leading the old right now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
