Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
