i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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