I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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