is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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