My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
