i barfeds in our rink
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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