I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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