the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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